“No!” I screamed, as I hid under my duvet. “Leave me alone! Please just go away!” My mom and two siblings didn’t. “This is MY room!! Go away,” I cried, but they still were there, trying to convince me to come out of my bed, that I wasn’t ugly and useless. As they weren’t leaving, I ran downstairs myself, crying, heart pounding, wanting to disappear, and I curled up in mom’s bed instead. (this happened on Tuesday)
As you can read, I wasn’t doing my best on Tuesday. I wrote a sad blogpost a little while ago and a caption on instagram. I got overwhelmed as fluff by the comments on here and ig, the dm’s, whatsapp messages, mails and hugs and I want to thank you for those.
A few days ago, I was on pinterest and saw two pics of tumblr posts (yeah I know, the internet is funny) about selflove and it kinda simply clicked in my mind. My mouth literally fell open. Then, I stumbled across this video. I binge-watched some more of Prince Ea’s youtube videos, and then I went to sleep. Apparently I sorta processed it all during the night (sleep is important, kids), because the next morning I woke up and I thought: Right now, I can decide that I am in a good mood.
It completely took over my mind. I was shook. I thought like: what?!? I can actually frickkin’ choose to be happy?? Like it’s a CHOICE?!?! Why on earth would I choose being depressed and mean and sad over being happy?
So, that’s the thing. If you want to be happy, BE HAPPY. That’s the key. The only thing you need to do. Choose.
I FREAKING PROMISE. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY RIGHT. NOW. You decide. Read this over and over. Read that sentence again and again and again. If you want, right now, at any place, at any moment, in any life situation, you can CHOOSE to be happy. You already have the joy thing within you, and you have the ability to start using it at any given moment. The only thing you have to do is to make the decision to be happy.
Maybe you feel depressed as I did and you clicked on this post expecting something super impressive, a direct way to happiness. Please don’t be disappointed, because this actually is a shortcut to a joyful life. It is easy. It is immediate. Try it out.
I thought I was depressed, I thought I would need to go see psychologists or therapeutes. I honestly thought I was going really mad. And that was this week. Four days ago. But friends… It’s all in your head. You are not depressed. You maybe have depression, but you are not depression. You can choose to let it go, right now.
It is important to remember that all of your feelings you feel are real and valid, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that your anxiety/depression/sadness/anger are false and/or made up. Because they’re not. They are there and they really suck. The trick is to feel your feelings, deeply feel them. Scream when you’re mad and cry your eyes our when you are sad. Allow your feelings, but do not drown in them. After a while, after letting your emotions be, you can let your emotions go. (That got really deep there hahaha) “Bad” feelings are here to be felt and then let go. You can actually then decide to let them go, to smile (fake it until you make it!) and to be utterly happy.
Since I found this out two days ago, I didn’t stop genuinely smiling. I honestly am just happy right now. If you read my recent stuff, you know that I WASN’T happy four days ago. Now I decided that I’m happy, and I am. I have zero superpowers more than you do, so if I can do it, you can too.
Well I guess that’s it for today with my deep philosophical thoughts and ideas. I hope it will help at least one of you. Then my goal will be reached.
Love, Charlie ♥
ps: another little tip is to stop eating animals. When an animal is slaughtered (=murdered) for food, it has to stand in the line and it sees it friends and siblings getting freaking killed. Right in front of its eyes. You can imagine that isn’t a very pleasant view or experience. The animal smells the blood of its family and sees its death arrive. That causes emotions such as frustration, pure fear, and anger. Those emotions are stored in the body of the animal in the form of hormones. So when you eat the meat (rotting flesh) of the animal, you get those hormones inside of your body. Just sayin. Eat fresh plants instead. It feels (and tastes) much better.