i get overwhelmed. easily. in both ways, good and bad. i have many ups and downs. i get a dm on instagram with a super sweet message, telling me i inspired that person or a picture of a drawing they made of me, and i start crying.
my mom tells me they saw the person who dumped me like trash on their walk in the forest with her other best friend (that they didn’t dump) and i need to remind myself to breathe so i don’t have a panic attack. i need to run upstairs. be alone. cry. isolate. why am i so sensitive? it’s so easy to let a clean room transform into a mess but it’s so fucking hard to put myself to clean the mess up again.
it’s very tiring sometimes to feel so much. so deeply. to cope with intense emotions 24/7.
maybe that’s why i love reading so much. reading is so easy. it’s an alternative universe. the characters have a life and your own problems do not exist in that world. it’s a gasp of air to hide in another world. snuggle down, only the blankets, the fairylights, the rain tickling the window and my book and me. a world without any pressure or problems that are mine. you can read about things and fantasize even though they might never happen to you. it’s so soft in my books.
in the first half of this month, i (sadly) had exams, so basically all i read was school textbooks about things i was (am) not intested in. when exams were over, i immediately went to the library with some friends and grabbed a pile of books huger than my head. since then, i’ve read and read and i’ve continued reading. i’m going to show you the last three books i read and tell you a bit about them.
(i read all of these in dutch)
the sky is everywhere – jandy nelson
lennie is seventeen and her sister is dead. she has to learn how to deal with it. she falls in love and makes huge mistakes. she leaves poetry behind for strangers (and her sister) to read. an incredible tornado of a book, super touching and i could not stop reading.
i’ll give you the sun – also by jandy nelson
same writer, same amount of me obsessing over the book. noah and jude are twins and they love art and the sea and noah is gay and jude is obsessed with an old bible her dead grandma gave her. my eyes devoured the pages. a rollercoaster with amazing plot twists. so surprising.
holding up the universe – jennifer niven
i had read a book from this writer before and damn did i love it. so i was incredibly enthusiastic when i saw her name on this new book in the library (just ask my friends, if i remember well i literally jumped up and down).
libby is known to be the fattest teenager of america and jack has a neurological thing which causes him to not recognize faces, not even his own or the one of his loved ones. two weird people, who are different. the feeling of not fitting in is so recognisable and the unusual lovestory tangled through the whole story is amazing. i loved it.
i always get so sad when i finish books that i loved. i cannot stop reading when i’m in it so i finish novels at an astonishingly quick tempo, but i also never want the story to be over and the characters to die and to close the book and never feel their humanness and safeness again. it’s so hard. i adore it.
as you can see, i’m an absolute sucker for romantic (heartbreaking) stories that are beautifully written. what’s your favourite type of book? do you have any book recommendations for me?
sending a million hugs to all my book lovers (and not book lovers). you are worth it and freaking loved. love, charlie